I went for a spontaneous weekend trip after finding out that I had Thurs + Fri off and I found promo tickets to Puerto Madryn, where I had been hoping I could visit before leaving Argentina.
Puerto Madryn is known for its wildlife: ballenas (whales), pingüinos (you can probably guess that one: penguins), lobos marinos (sea lions, although the direct translation is sea wolf), elefantes marinos (elephant seals), and more. Given that list of animals, you can tell that this is a seaside town... and I am madly in love with the sea, so this was a blissful reunion.
There is also a lucky Fulbrighter placed in Puerto Madryn, and after we became friends at the conference in Rio, I was excited to visit her.
I had a really fun weekend, but a recurring thought process seemed to be following me around.
When I first arrived at the Trelew airport (an hour outside of Puerto Madryn), I walked out of the gate and saw a small dinosaur exhibit. I smiled and thought "When I was little, I would have been so excited..."
As I walked around exploring the beach with my friend, I couldn't help but notice all of the shells in the sand and think "Man if I was younger, I would have so much fun collecting these..."
On that walk, we passed a bunch of short but sturdy trees with branches intertwining- something very similar to what my dad and I called the Curly Tree Forest in Golden Gate Park. I flashed back to those weekend adventures with my parents and thought, "When I was a kid I would have loved climbing these trees..."
During my day trip to the peninsula to see all of the wildlife, I had about an hour free to explore the beach area while other travelers went whale-watching. I walked to a bunch of sandstone bluffs and saw a 6 or 7 year old kid scrambling up the rocks to reach the top. I watched them with a little bit of affection and a little bit of envy and thought, "That would have been me if I was younger..."
It took me a few iterations of this thought pattern to recognize it, but thankfully I did and had a little conversation with myself.
"When I was little... If I was younger..." Seriously? Excuse you, Adult Lizzy. Who are you to think wistfully about what you "used to" like and suck all of the fun out of your own adventures? How dare you forget everything you promised yourself as a child that you would remember? Why are you trying to smother the curiosity you still have about the world around you?
I think it's appropriate that the word "adult" is now used as a verb. (There's a whole Youtube channel called "How To Adult.") Adulting very much seems like it is not so much a fundamental change in our being that happens after we turn 18 or 21 or whatever age, but rather a series of actions we carry out in order to meet new societal expectations. Some of these adulting activities are freedoms that I appreciate, like getting to choose what clothes I wear every morning and exploring my own style. Some of them are stressful and hard but necessary to survive the world (who wants to learn how to do taxes and pay bills and get to work on time?). But during these moments this weekend, I recognized an adult behavior that I think is neither necessary nor freeing: the behavior that arises from an expectation to be proper, reserved, cautious and act like we know exactly what we are doing. It's the suppression of the urge to do silly things like climb trees and scramble up rocks and pick up shells for no reason other than it's fun... until the point you feel that you don't even want those things anymore.
I had almost reached that point, but there was still the curiosity, the drive inside me to explore, to wonder.
My dad wrote a journal to my sister and I starting from when we were babies. When I go back and read it, I can recognize a lot of the things that make me me from when I was little: my love of the ocean, my adventure bug, my obsession with reading and writing, my excitement around animals, my curiosity, my interest in both science and fantasy, my independent spirit, my empathy and care for others. All of these things still make up who I am.
Sure, there are definitely some things that Little Lizzy would have loved that I definitely don't-- ketchup on broccoli, for instance. But climbing and going on adventures and getting dirty and getting really really excited about dinosaurs... those aren't things I'll ever be too old for.
So why was I acting like a solemn bystander in my own life? Why was I acting like the kid I had been was gone, and instead I was this entirely separate entity who no longer had any need for "fun"?
Luckily I asked myself those questions, and so the story of this weekend has a happy ending.
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| Airport Dino |
I took a picture of the dinosaur in the airport...
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| Highway Dino |
and the dinosaur on the highway...
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| This is NOT a T-Rex but rather a Giganotasaurus |
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| Lookit all these guys |
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| El dinosaurio más grande del mundo y yo / "The biggest dinosaur in the world and me" |
because I STILL FREAKING LOVE DINOS
At the beach, I took off my shoes and walked barefoot in the sand and picked out some of my favorite shells and slipped them in my pocket to take home:
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| purty shells :) |
I climbed the trees in the Curly Tree Forest
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| Curly Tree Forest |
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| Sittin in a tree selfie |
And I scrambled up the bluff after that kid, getting dust and sand and dirt all over my pants...
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| Climbing rocks! |
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| You can't tell from this pic, but these shells are completely imbedded in the rock! |
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| What a view, huh buddy? |
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| YES I FEEL YA PENGUIN |
Watched the whales from the shore...
Looked out at the sea lions and elephant seals...
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| Those little blobs are the sea lions... |
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| It is WINDY AF in southern Argentina! |
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| Typical Argentine afternoon merienda: mate and baked goods outside in the sun |
Twenty-five years and my life is still/ trying to get up that great big hill of hope
It was exhausting, because I was staying up late on Argentine time but also waking up early to go do activities, but it was so worth it.
I've done a lot of adulting in Argentina. I'm thousands of miles away from my parents and have no one making choices for me here-- even when sometimes I wish I did. I've had to figure out a lot of things for myself, and I've had to be responsible and respectful and navigate situations thoughtfully. I even spent my downtime in Puerto Madryn scanning LinkedIn and working on job searching/applications for when I get back. (Current dream job: Apprentice Chocolate Maker with Dandelion Chocolate... like how cool would that be?!)
But I have also had opportunities like this weekend to being out the child-- the person-- I have always been: silly, curious, adventurous, and really excited about dinos.
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